Huh?

Craig, who is asleep, just said "maybe (he) should just leave (his)stuff here." I guess he means over the summer. He also said "wait, no that wouldn't work" and trailed off. He is getting up early tomorrow to go to meditation, for his sociology class. I don't know why somebody with such an empty head would need to clear his mind, but if it feels good, do it, I guess.

restraint.

I have heard it noted, that many young chefs lack restraint.  I should should either have a good handle on restraint or be restrained by the end of this year, as one guy in my class is trying to sell me an assault charge.  I really hope that he gets shot soon.  Hey, if it's going to happen, let it happen when it will get him out of my class.  It doesn't have to kill him, just let him run his mouth to somebody that will shoot him in the leg or something.  So full of himself, I can't help but wonder what it's like to be that awesome.  Please note, he has geared his commentary toward making my days worse, has a problem with almost everybody in class, and almost everybody in class wishes he weren't there.

I hope that he's one of the people Chef was talking about when he told me that our class was one of the worst groups he's seen.  He also thanked me for letting him vent, it was very cool to feel trusted by someone so highly regarded, as normally nobody would directly express how horrid a bunch of lunatics their students are.  I also was bummed to see somebody who cares and gives so much upset by these jerks.  He has to deal with these specific examples of what is bad in the universe for just one fifth as long as I do this term.  I thought that it would get progressively better after the first set of labs, but holy cow, was I ever wrong.  I was mad about the behavior of the group that I was in last time, but to be trapped with somebody who made it so clear that he is a douche bag on the first day?  Worse.  There are some very big egos in this place, many unwarranted.  I hope that I don't pick up any bad habits via osmosis.

Two more days of what should have been an awesome class.  Ruined by idiots and assholes.  The educations of the people that care and are competent and deserving are being compromised. 

I can't wait to go home for the summer.  I just need to line up some work, and a place to stay here in the fall.  29 more days of class, then I can take a vacation from this vacation/nightmare.  I'm not happy that I'm thinking about this dickhead and his influence in my world right before bed.  I hope he gets a flat tire on the way in Monday.

It was room 205!

I was kept awake later than I wanted to be last night by the sounds of youthful joie de vivre. I decided against calling safety&security, or going next door to yell at the kids in person because I thought that that would wake me up more than the sprinting in the hallway, moving furniture,yelling about redbull and do another shot, and moving furniture, and banging on the walls, and more sprinting, and slamming doors and slamming other things on the floor in the bathroom, and pool balls clacking around on the pool table. Being from beautiful Deteoit, Michigan, however, I am familiar with the "snitches get stitches" code. I'm in Rhode Island now, and these kids are acting like assholes, I will dime them out all day for keeping me up. Apparently the other things slamming on the floor was them tearing the two little plastic dividing walls and the tiles through which they were mounted off of the bathroom walls. Then they dragged them into the pool room and decided to make some more noise. I don't need that, and the school doesn't need to be beaten up any worse than it is. This act of destruction took away the only little bit of privacy that was provided to us. They wanted to watch everybody dry off? I don't get it, but I hope they get sent home to an old school ass whipping. Serves them right for not offering to share their booze.

Foxy or nots...y? That sounds bad

I want to see Foxy Shazam Monday. It is only thirteen dollars, not far away, and will probably be pretty awesome. So go, right? I tried to scout out the venue today. I did not find it. The show starts at 7:30, with two opening bands, but my class has been getting out around 8:30 lately. Lately meaning since we started this class. It sucks, I have felt like having more people cleaning than you need should get it handled more quickly since the beginning, but this is just not the case. Every time, it results in confusion. I don't know where others are in the process, steps get repeated, and very often I don't quite know what needs doing. Our teacher, Chef Lewis, is indisputably the man, he is not to be blamed for our deficiencies, and he is right to want his kitchen cleaned thoroughly, BUT, since the beginning of the year, the cleanup process has been largely unguided, and the result has become expected chaos. I want to gtfo in time to see some rock and roll happen, darn it! I also think I might give Amex another chunk of my future. I found a guitar that I want. I might have to sell one. I definitely have to sell some shit. Like bracelets. I couldn't afford not to buy them! So, in honor of Rick Santorum being an asshole, I have ordered the production of two-hundred of those popular silicone/rubber bracelets the kids are wearing printed with "Do Not Euthanize Me" in brown lettering that reminds me of Boogie Nights on a white, glowinthedark band. I'll be giving some away and charging five dollars for others. I will try to buy my new guitar with the profits. Maybe before they are made. It is a Hagstrom Swede tremar, for the low, low price of $425! I have not found the same product at all in the same specs, and the nearest was $125 more. I'd be a fool not to pick it up! I need to balance that with being an idiot for spending money that I don't have. Can't wait to see what happens!

Stupid is as stupid dumbs

"I need to see that test again," he said in the noisiest whisper he could find. "I believe the computer made a huge mistake." Bitch, you've been told before, computers don't make mistakes! I believe that you answered twenty questions incorrectly on your final today. Ol' Mr. Craiggles has just seen his test grade from this afternoon, and is quite surprised at how consistent his performance was. He is hoping for a D. He said that Mr. Provost told him that he can't grade them for trying. Craig thinks that is bullshit. I think that if you try to do something, and it goes horribly wrong, the end result is still garbage, and you should be graded on what you produced. If my food looked or tasted terrible, I would expect a terrible grade. Luckily, that is not how I operate. It isn't really "luckily," that shit is by design. What I suppose could be called luck, is that I come from a long like of smart people who are not avoidant of biological diversity. Inbreeding is not very sexy, and results in defects, which include dumb-dumbness, and compromised motor skills... and driving into an oncoming bus and not being allowed to drive without parental supervision. I, on the other hand, am the proud parent of a brand new baby A. My teacher-chef, chef Villarreal, told me to keep doing what I'm doing at the end of class today. I could not reciprocate with like advice. At LEAST two of us are dissatisfied with the way that the class went. For an appetizer today, sans recipe, I banged out some tasty carrot crepes, with a roasted mushroom salad, and puffed amaranth. It was earthy, herby, rich, light, and totally bodacious. This guy, who is grading us on our food, did not taste anything that we produced today. The only time that he has tried anything that we have put out was on our practical exams. That means that there was very little guidance, no suggestion of improvements,and holy shit, meaningless grades! In the class, Nutrition and Sensory Analysis, it was pointed out repeatedly that flavor is the most important factor on any plate. Then how in the world can you grade on aesthetics!? Others running around like crazy people, one confused to the point that he is convinced that he is in charge of the class, a couple of guys drinking kitchen wine during class, and the chef leaving two hours early twice a week leaving us with a T.A. Does not sound like what I'm paying for. Nobody is going to be as alert and effective as they should be when they are working doubles and taking graduate courses, and I feel like some of us deserve more than that. It is really nice when the T.A./babysitter announces that she is baking/pastry, so she doesn't know how to cook. Nice call, Johnson and Wales. I'm glad that I'm here, but I wish a lot of other people weren't. I look forward to wondering how it would have gone at CIA. I believe that I am at one of the best food schools in the world. I also believe that I am surrounded by some of the biggest egos and assholes to be found. There are people here who I expect will gain nothing more from their time here than motivation to work hard to pay off the massive tuition bills. I hope that Michael P falls down the stairs every day for the rest of his stupid, proud life.

Why don't nobody talk good?

I just finished editing agroup project paper and writing the conclusion. I am still blown away by the idiocy allowed by the school system. You hear people talk, you know what words mean, but you don't know how to make them work for you? Even, comma placeement! Awesome. In other news, Craig decided two days ago that he is going to get all hundreds o his quizzes. If they are graded on a fifty point curve, this is still a possibility. Either way, it is an improvement over the first two quizzes he took in this class, on which he scored 20%and 30%. His teacher told him that he is going to fail the class. Craig is now convinced (unless he forgot) that he has the same memory problem that his brother has. He can never remember the name of it. He is now takin fish oil, once, and some other supplement; apparently his mom has found a cure for retarded.

Damn these old ears!

I got yelled at by a kid in clad today. I'm not sure how much restraint I can really show. This was only the second day of three months that we will be in the same labs. He runs around so much that it can't be very effective, but I'm pretty certain chef Villarreal will assum that I'm lazy and he is a hard worker. Inefficient and hard working are good buddies. This kid is all elbows, there are sixteen people in the class doing the work of five, and I don't want to be in the way or trample anybody. I also feel like I should apply for a variance that lets me choke people out when they get out of line. We were done, I was washing or drying my hands, and I thought that I heard "did everybody get their knives out of the cage so that I can lock it?". Well, it isn't your jerb to lock the cage, but you really want to show initiative, great. I said "no" because I didn't want my stuff locked up. Then I heard that the question was "does anybody want to get their knives out" so that he could finish being so great. Assuming that I am clever or funny or something, I replied "oh... No" again. In response I was immediately scolded. "you'd better watch what you're saying, buddy." woah! I mean "woah, forgive me! Wow, I'm sorry." I think that I was overly apologetic in suc a way that others took notice. Now, I would never kill in front of witnesses, but sometimes luck should not be pushed. This should still be the getting-to-know-you stage in our relationship. I will make sure this bitch gets to know me. I am thinking that he should also get a nickname for the rest of the year, at least. If he calls everybody "bro" I think his name will be "baby doll" or something equally adorable from this point forward. Turds belong in toilets, not kitchens. Fuck that guy and his shitty attitude.

Hello there, chiiiildren!

I am not sure if we are even back up to half-populated here in lovely South hall, but the influence of the returning students is already destroying everything that I loved about break. Somehow, the floor drains in the bathroom are working in reverse, there is pee on every toilet seat, and puke in almost every sink. The room is flooded with noises again,light at night, and more noise; the rapid, never-ending clicking of Han's mouse was not missed, I only hope that it gets rhythmic enough that I can sleep through it. Having to tolerate others again has had me feeling exhausted and tense almost all day, while every other day this break, I have felt healthy and energetic. I hope that death comes quick.

take another week off.

   Yay, the kids are coming back!  I am already irritated.  This smug lump of shit, Marcus, has already been yammering on in the hall, loudly guessing at how many people are in this building right now.  Earlier, on my way out to lunch, he was leaning against the front desk, probably talking about how many or few people there were in the building right then, and gave the two finger wave, and said "hey, how ah ya."  That bitch isn't from New England, he's from New York, and he doesn't have an accent other than smug!  I need to ask if he is really so simple that his inflections are affected so quickly, because he's doing it on purpose and needs to shut up.
   On the way back from lunch, some fat old turd in a security uniform was pacing around where we wait for the bus, asking everyone if they were students, waiting for the bus, and demanding to see IDs.  Fuck that shit, leave me alone.  He asked me if I was waiting for the bus and I told him no.  "Oh, okay."  He took a couple of steps and turned back to me and asked if I was a student.  I confirmed that I was, and he asked "and you're not  waiting for the bus?"  I told him that I was and he asked why I'd said that I wasn't.  Duh, I wanted to see what would happen.  I was hoping that he would leave me the hell alone and go hassle somebody else.  It didn't work.  Apparently, when he's there, we show HIM our IDs, not the bus drivers.  I can't wait to see that plan in effect when there are 80 drunk kids waiting for the bus.  Next time, I will be addressing him as "chief" as loudly as he does to others, and informing him that I am not a student, but there to sell drugs.  I'll be sure to demand his ID, as I don't know who the hell he is; He could just be some pervert that found a security uniform at the Salvation Army for all we know.  Anyway, I will be telling him that I am selling drugs, not a student, and then hop on a bus, showing my ID to the driver, like I'm supposed to.  I feel like I should point out that I'm not really selling drugs, don't have a gun, and hold a 4.0 gpa with no conduct violations on record.
   I need to buy a lottery ticket.  More specifically, a winning one.  I want to find a way to get some distance between myself an these jackasses for next year.