I get it, everyone's better than me!

I wish I had kept hanging out with my old buddy Bill instead of shifting away and losing touch. That guy just landed in the zagat 30 under 30 list. That is huge, and he has been marked as one to watch. I realize that it will take innumerable hours of work, but there is a slim chance that I can break the ny scene some day. I feel like I need to hurry though, it was a sudden onset sort of concern. I just put together a cover letter for my resume, a plea for employment, and started considering my "options" and realized that they aren't options, I am an option. The supply could well be exceeding the demand for me when I get back home! I was thinking about trying to get in at slows, as my pal Ashley works at the Togo location, or did last I heard, as BBQ favors translate well to all other foods, in my opinion, and the technique, slow smoking over wood and charcoal, is a beautiful thing. Then I remembered fine dining. Fucking rich people stuff. Coach Insignia, Cuisine, Roast, this lil place called The Root that I read of not too long before coming out to PVD, Atlas- though I have no idea who is running that show now, Cafe Muse, Dirty Dog. Too much to process. All of this while studying pig and cow anatomy for meat cutting class. All of that while remembering the homework assignment! Aaaaah!!! Maybe I'll use Bill as the chef I look up to for that part of the paper assigned. That guy's got his shit together and knew what he wanted to do when we were sixteen. I might be able to catch up some day, but that is a hell of a head start. It is good, noticing how much more I could be putting in to what I'm doing, figuring out what direction to try to steer myself, or at least to look for direction, a path to clear. Easier to push forward with a good sense of navigation, I imagine, but as long as there is forward momentum, I suppose you just have to avoid the trees and othe metaphors. I'm glad we had this talk.

I'm not dead.

I'm not sure just how close it was, but the storeroom/purchasing+product ID grades went up 4/23 and I held on to an A. Now we are in meat cutting, and I am struggling to keep track of what is where on animal bodies and what they are called. I need to remember to do my homework, too. It is the same assignment that we got in our (my) first ever lab here at JWU, but two pages longer. Don't wanna. Craig has been watching an awful lot of Power Rangers lately. Quietly swearing to himself at his computer,because the videos lag and stall. If I didn't already know, this along with watching the same music video six times in a row (what makes you beautiful by one direction)would have raised a red flag indicating severe mental retardation. He came back from where-I-don't-know at nine-something and asked "you know what's good?" to which I replied "no." I generally hope that 1 question + 1 answer = brief, yet complete conversation. Maybe I'm retarded, too. "my quiz average is a fifty-five" he says to me. I laughed, because failing every quiz would be a major defeat on my planet. He proceeded to explain how he can still get a B+ in that class, technical writing, and that he is getting an A in sociology. This, if correct, is what makes me question the value of my grades. I feel like there are a lot of feel-good-because-you-tried, everyone-gets-a-gold-star-sticker-type grades being passed out here. I also know of one kid getting a C+ and being pumped, saying his dad won't think he's tarded. Whateva, my gold star stickers are still a four point, so I guess I'll take feeling good about what I've done, and enjoy it for another month.

Decisionsfest!

I keep deciding to dick around on produce and mushroom websites instead of doing the actual work that needs to be done. This is useful, but avoidant. Craig is snoring, and I might decide not to kill him. A major decision I am working on right now is whether or not I will transfer to a different campus in the fall. I hear that the Miami campus is pretty hood, and terrible, BUT the Charlotte, NC, and Denver, CO campuses look pretty great. Denver looks super classy and gorgeous, but is very far away... From anything I know. I dunno, but I want to see more. I need to talk to some of the chefs here, I think, and then a counselor. I would be coming back to PVD for junior or senior year, but I need to explore. I think. Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket. A st Vincent ticket, too, I think. ALSO the north merrcan beer festival is Saturday. Forty dollars for unlimited samples. Sounds like a great deal that could easily cripple my productivity. I think I'll save that money for next time, either junior, senior, or even sophomore year. We will see.

Get me out of here!

An idea has reemerged.  I am now exploring the possibility of transfering my education to Charlotte, NC for next year.  This was pushed further into the realm of real possibilities after an Easter weekend dining fiasco.  There was nothing posted to alert us to the fact that our dining options would be severely limited and many of us were surprised by this when Red Sauce just wasn't opened one day.  This weekend was no longer than a standard weeked here, just less populated.  Here, for my own documentation, and your reading enjoyment, is the e-mail that I sent to our school president: