I get it, everyone's better than me!

I wish I had kept hanging out with my old buddy Bill instead of shifting away and losing touch. That guy just landed in the zagat 30 under 30 list. That is huge, and he has been marked as one to watch. I realize that it will take innumerable hours of work, but there is a slim chance that I can break the ny scene some day. I feel like I need to hurry though, it was a sudden onset sort of concern. I just put together a cover letter for my resume, a plea for employment, and started considering my "options" and realized that they aren't options, I am an option. The supply could well be exceeding the demand for me when I get back home! I was thinking about trying to get in at slows, as my pal Ashley works at the Togo location, or did last I heard, as BBQ favors translate well to all other foods, in my opinion, and the technique, slow smoking over wood and charcoal, is a beautiful thing. Then I remembered fine dining. Fucking rich people stuff. Coach Insignia, Cuisine, Roast, this lil place called The Root that I read of not too long before coming out to PVD, Atlas- though I have no idea who is running that show now, Cafe Muse, Dirty Dog. Too much to process. All of this while studying pig and cow anatomy for meat cutting class. All of that while remembering the homework assignment! Aaaaah!!! Maybe I'll use Bill as the chef I look up to for that part of the paper assigned. That guy's got his shit together and knew what he wanted to do when we were sixteen. I might be able to catch up some day, but that is a hell of a head start. It is good, noticing how much more I could be putting in to what I'm doing, figuring out what direction to try to steer myself, or at least to look for direction, a path to clear. Easier to push forward with a good sense of navigation, I imagine, but as long as there is forward momentum, I suppose you just have to avoid the trees and othe metaphors. I'm glad we had this talk.